Finding True Love

“The path of love is moving faster than ever, nearly 20% of couples are having sex within their first month of dating.”

We had known each other professionally through her work as a State Representative, and in my work as an Assistant News Director at our local radio station. We also were both youth workers at different churches. One day Kathe came to me and asked. “I’m starting up a community wide youth ministry. We need someone to help with evangelism. Would you like to be on the board and lead that?” After thinking and praying about it, I agreed. As we worked together building Detour Youth Ministry, little did I know, God had more in mind then reaching teenagers for Jesus. Romantic desires for Kathe began stirring within me, where eventually I found myself saying, “I have these feelings for her, but what should I do?” I had to decide where to go with all this. As I sought God’s wisdom, I realized she needed to know how I felt, and I needed to know if she felt the same.

We met for lunch, where I shared my feelings for her, and to my delightful surprise she felt the same. Then I asked, “I’m not interested in just dating, but dating with a view to marriage. Are you willing to start seeing each other with that understanding?” My request took her by surprise, but after some thought and prayer she agreed and on June 23, 2002 our lives were forever changed.

The path to love we walked had a set of moral boundaries. However, in today’s world that is a thing of the past. Instead, we live by desires, circumstances and whatever is convenient at the moment.

A government study revealed that 70% of today’s couples are desperate for true love, moving in together before marriage. This means the path of love is moving faster than ever. Another study showed that nearly 20% of couples had sex within their first month of dating.

In today’s relationships there is the first date, second date, the first touch of the hands, the first embrace, the first kiss, then sleeping together…all sometimes within 30 days. Where is the budding romance? Where is the love story to retell children and grandchildren?

We want, whatever we want…instantly. This includes love and happiness. But where do these fast-moving relationships without moral boundaries end up? Sometimes they lead to unplanned pregnancies, emptiness, disappointment, divorce or adulterous affairs.

Listen to the wisdom of God who says, do “not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” (Song of Solomon 3:5) God is warning us not to awaken the passions of love too soon. There is divine wisdom in employing self-control over our urges, while letting the shrouded mysteries of love stir within us. Over time we allow it to mature, grow and become a blossoming beautiful flower that can be cut at its peak of beauty at just the right time.

God created us with the capacity for love. How do we know when to move forward and awaken this love? The Bible says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5,6). While walking on the path of love that is filled with ups and downs and turns and twists, we are to fix our eyes on Jesus and trust Him through it all.

Jesus died and rose again, so that we would realize He is all we need. When we walk the path of love without Jesus, we feel we need the love of a special person for meaning or significance. However, when we turn from our way and trust in Jesus with all our heart, then we discover something new. Jesus is all we need. We learn that the love of a boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse is a bonus. It is no longer something we are desperately searching for, because we have found all we need in Christ.

A prayer for you – Lord God, I pray that you will help us to not go looking for love or pleasure in a person. Open our eyes and let us see that you are all we need. Lead us to trust in you with all our heart. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

The Wrecking Ball of Pride

"Everywhere we go, every town, whether big or small, is filled with Justin's and Tommy's, two paths that bring very different results."

At 16 years old, Justin was a hard worker, loved to help others and had a passion for politics. That is why a candidate for Governor took a risk and asked him to be a County Chairman for his statewide political race. He wound up doing a tremendous job. He helped the candidate win the county, which also provided the highest voter turnout in the state.

Tommy, also 16 years old, led a much different life. During one weekend, he played a role in slashing 34 tires. He became caught up in a bizarre tire slashing competition with other teenagers. People began filing complaints with the police, who launched an investigation. Soon Tommy’s mother found out, and with her direction, he voluntarily surrendered himself to police and was arrested.

These are two boys, on two paths filled with two kinds of choices. One destructive, one constructive. Across America, everywhere we go, every town, whether big or small, is filled with Justin's and Tommy's. The two paths bring very different results. One is a constructive life demonstrated by generosity, humility, integrity and a selfless spirit that puts the needs of others above self. The other path is a destructive life. It displays a narcissistic spirit which puts the needs of self above others. It shows impatience, arrogance and rudeness.

God’s Son, Jesus, spoke of these two paths, “Enter by the narrow gate” He said, “For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” (Matthew 7:13-14) He said there is a constructive path that leads to eternal life through Him. However, it is narrow, hard to follow and has few people on it. Why? Because there is a great cost. The path requires immense personal sacrifice. It demands that one love the Lord God with all his heart, with all his soul, with all his mind, with all his strength, and love others as he loves himself…including his enemies. That is costly, but the rewards are extravagant and immeasurable.

Jesus said there is another path, but it leads to eternal destruction, is wide, easy to follow and has many people on it. Why does it have so many? Because the choices are easy. You simply satisfy all your wants, needs and desires. You do not resist your urges or passions. However, the consequences are massive. One views the wide path as bringing freedom, but it actually brings slavery. One becomes a slave to their own destructive choices. It produces pain, sorrow, regret, guilt, shame and loneliness. Unfortunately, every one of us is born on this path. It is the default for all of us, because we were all born with selfish hearts.

So, what do we do? Each path represents a choice. God says to us, “Choose you this day whom you will serve” (Joshua 24:15). It is never too late. Jesus came from heaven to earth and shed His blood on a cross, that you might be set free. He died and rose again to provide you a chance at a new life. Today, you can choose to get off the wide path of destruction and step onto the narrow path of eternal life. What will you choose?

A prayer for you – Lord God, I pray you will examine each of our lives. Which path are we on? Show us O, Lord if we are on the wide road toward destruction. Open our eyes and help us in this moment to repent of our sin and trust in you alone for salvation, that today might be the start of new day for us. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

5 Valentine’s Day Truths

“Don’t sit around and wait to get some love, rise up and give some.”

On Valentine’s Day Americans are expected to spend over 20 billion dollars on cards, flowers, chocolates, date nights and more. It is advertised as the most romantic day of the year. For some, it is a day looked forward to, while for others, it feels like Cupid’s arrow flew right on by. Let me share with you 5 positive Valentine’s Day truths. (Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay)

1. There is good in your relationship status, whether you are single or married. If you are single and not dating, it is easy to feel like there is something wrong with you while others have girlfriends, boyfriends or are getting married. If you are married and going through a difficult period, it is easy to feel discouraged when you see happily married couples. In situations like these God teaches us that we can live with hope, “I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul.” (Psalm 31:7) This Valentine’s Day, no matter your relationship situation, know that God sees you, therefore, choose to find a reason to rejoice in Him.

2. Don’t sit around and wait to get some love, rise up and give some. It is so easy to fall into the “woe is me” trap, hoping that your spouse or a special someone will come along and fulfill all your romantic hopes and dreams. Do you realize that others probably feel the same way? Jesus said, “…as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.” (Luke 6:31) This Valentine’s Day, go give some love! Instead of waiting for something to come to you, go to others. Arm yourself with some notes, flowers or chocolates and go be a blessing to someone.

3. Understand the real purpose in dating. Breaking news! It is not just for an experience. A Pew Research poll found that 42% of single Americans are looking for some kind of romance. Millions will be going out on dates this Valentine’s Day, hoping to find some.

Those who date in order to find elusive romantic feelings or sexual hookups, are self-centered, and missing the point. Dating is a method to help search for a lifelong marriage partner. The institution of marriage was established by our Creator. During history’s first marriage He said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife. And they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) On Valentine’s Day, do not go on a date just to fulfill some romantic desire, go with a vision for something more noble – marriage.

4. You were made for marriage and a family. The U.S. Census Bureau reported that in 1970 71% of all household were married couples. However, in 2022 that number was just 47%. Additionally, the CDC says the birth rate is the lowest in our history, at 1.62 births per woman. We are below the ability to replace our population. How did this happen? By lowering the value of marriage and family, our Creator’s plan.

For some, you have the gift of singleness, but for most God wants you step into His beautiful design of marriage and family. This Valentine’s Day, respond to God’s most holy plan.

5. Follow God’s ways. It is hard, but the most rewarding way. The Bible says, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights…” (James 1:17) Singleness, marriage and family are all gifts from God, but they come with great challenges. Do not let the abuse or heartbreak from others, nor your own foolish choices keep you from all that God has in store. Jesus died and rose again to take your sinfulness upon Himself. He has made a way for you.

This Valentine’s Day, turn from your sins and place your full trust in Christ alone. Love Him and live for Him with all your heart.

A prayer for you – Lord God, open our eyes to see the plans you have for us. Let us admit how we have turned from your ways. Today, help us to turn back to you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Praying for The President

"I now make it my earnest prayer, that God would have the United States in his holy protection." 

- President George Washington  

 
George Washington, the 1st President of the United States was a man of prayer. This spiritual discipline came about long before he was sworn in as President. When he was General of the Continental Army, he drafted a prayer for the new nation and had copies of it sent across the country to all the states and their governors. “I now make it my earnest prayer, that God would have the United States in his holy protection, that he would incline the hearts of the Citizens to cultivate a spirit of subordination and obedience to Government, to entertain a brotherly affection and love for one another, for their fellow citizens of the United States at large, and particularly for their brethren who have served in the Field, and finally, that he would most graciously be pleased to dispose us all, to do Justice, to love mercy, and to demean ourselves with that Charity, humility and pacific temper of mind, which were the Characteristicks of the Devine Author of our blessed Religion, and without an humble imitation of whose example in these things, we can never hope to be a happy Nation. Amen.” (Image by iStock)

Though our language has changed a little since 1783, you can see this godly military general and politician believed in God and understood the power of prayer for a nation.

We see an illustration of this in the Bible during a transition of power from David, King of Israel, to his son Solomon who would succeed him. Amid this, King David offered a public prayer for his country.

“…direct their hearts toward you” he prayed. (1 Chronicles 29:18) The old, wise king knew who was really over the affairs of his country. Therefore, he prayed that the affections of the people would first and foremost be toward the Lord God. If our hearts are bent chiefly toward a political party or ideology, then we are on a crooked path to an eventual downfall. However, if we fix our eyes straight ahead and walk according to God’s purposes, the foundation of our nation will be made secure.

David also prayed for the new king, “… may he keep your commandments, your testimonies, and your statutes, performing all.” (1 Chronicles 29:19) The experienced King David knew who the author of blessing and cursing on his nation was. And He knew how to remain in a healthy relationship with the Lord God and how to follow His counsel in governing. He knew all these answers were found in the Scriptures and prayed the next king would give himself to knowing and following God through His Word.

As the seasoned king prayed, he was aware of the price of neglect. He knew that each person, his own son and the entire nation, could do as they wished. As a result, he warned them choose not to abandon God and go their own way. For there would be a high cost to the country if they did.

Pray for Donald Trump, our new President of the United States. As we do, let us also commit ourselves toward God. May our hearts be fixed on Him. Additionally, let us pray that President Trump will know God personally and walk in accordance with His holy Word for the welfare of his own soul and our nation.

A prayer for you – Father in heaven, at the beginning of this new presidential administration we pray for our new president and for America. May the people of our country direct their hearts toward you. May President Trump humble himself before you, place his faith in Christ alone and walk daily in holiness and obedience according to your eternal Word. May the church in our land be good stewards of the gospel of Jesus Christ, carrying it to all our citizens, that all might repent and believe. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

The Most Difficult New Year’s Resolution of 2025

Are we in control of our phones or are they in control of us?

Over four billion people have a smartphone, which is about 54% of the global population, according to an Internet Connectivity report. In the United States the percentage is dramatically higher, a Zippia research study identified that over 80% (270 million) of Americans own one. (Image by upliftfamilies.org)

In the last 10 years smartphone ownership has skyrocketed among U.S. adults and teenagers, and so has its dependency. Americans average almost five hours a day on their phone, which is an increase of 52% from just a couple of years ago.

The data is in. We love our smartphones and cannot imagine living without them! As technology has advanced, we can do increasingly more with them in our personal lives, through our job, as students and in our churches.

But who is controlling who? Are we in control of our phones or are they in control of us? The first thing we look at in the morning is…our phone. When we walk out the door to go to work or school, we do so with…our phone. During the day, we are constantly engaging with…our phone. When we come home in the evening, we regularly have in hand…our phone. The last thing we look at before we go to bed is…our phone. The Zippia study reveals that we check our phone about 96 times a day or at least once every 10 minutes. We are engaging with our phones more than we do with our spouse, children, friends, and for Christians, even God.

I have a challenge. It would be the most difficult New Year’s resolution. Would you be willing to reduce your screen time in 2025?

How are phones, as well as TVs, computers, tablets and video games affecting us? Not so good. A PubMed Central scientific study wrote, “Dependency on digital devices resulting in an ever-increasing daily screen time has subsequently also been the cause of several adverse effects on physical and mental or psychological health.” The report discusses issues like anxiety, depression, poor sleep quality, obesity, poor brain development in children and many other alarming concerns for adults and kids.

The Bible says, “’All things are lawful for me,’ but not all things are helpful. ’All things are lawful for me,’ but I will not be dominated by anything.” (1 Corinthians 6:12) Are our electronic devices helpful? You bet! But are they controlling us? Yes.

Once God confronted a man over his anger saying, “…sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” (Genesis 4:7) It is no secret. The inventors and marketers of our electronic devices want us to watch them, so they build them for the purpose of drawing you in. Your devices knock at your door every minute. Will you rule over its call to pick it up or will you refuse its desirable invitation?

Where do you start if you want to reduce your time on your electronics in 2025? 1. Set digital detoxes. On a weekly or even a daily basis, set times where electronics are turned off. 2. No electronics in bed. When you are getting ready for bed, turn off the TV and put down your smartphone. 3. A new morning routine. When you wake up, commit to getting out of bed before you look at your phone. 4. Create substitutions. Replace your screen time with reading the Bible or another book, playing a board game, face to face conversation, prayer, exercise, getting outside or serving another person.

It is written, “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” (Colossians 3:2) The Lord God, through Jesus Christ, calls people to set their minds upon Him. For in Him is life and peace. However, there is a raging battle that competes against this here on earth. Jesus came to die and rise again that we would have victory over these appealing and deceptive enemies.

A prayer for you – God of heaven and earth, help us to see our life through your eyes. Point out if we are spending too much time on electronics? Help us to accept the challenge for 2025 and begin to release the grip of these devices on our lives and fix our attention on you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.