“Wives, Submit to Your Husbands.” No Way!

The only thing I am going to submit to my husband is a complaint. – Anonymous Wife                    

A husband and wife were having a disagreement and stopped speaking to each other when suddenly, the husband realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him up at 5:00 a.m. for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me up at 5:00 a.m.," and he left it where he knew she would find it. (Image by pexels)

The next morning the man woke up only to discover it was 9:00 a.m. and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife had not awakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed that said, “It is 5:00 a.m. Wake up!"

When it comes to marriages, we can do our best to try and find some humor in the tension, even though at the time it may not be so funny.

A wife once jokingly said, “the only thing I am going to submit to my husband is a complaint.” What was her comment in response to? A Bible verse that states, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22) This verse can quickly strike up heated conversations in churches, academia and in politics.

Am I stepping on a cultural landmine? No, rather our society is. When we debate away God’ truth for the home, we are assuring its destruction. What the Scriptures say about husbands, wives and children is the cultural life preserver we need to help save our marriages and families.

Year after year, 40 to 50 percent of first-time marriages end in divorce, and for those who marry a second or third time, the likelihood of divorce climbs higher and higher. Do you know the percentage of children that will end up living in divorced homes? It is 40%, which amounts to millions of our kids. We have this mess because we are not building marriages and families God’s way.

Let me go back to Ephesians and read a little further, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church…” (Eph. 5:22-23) There is more, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” (5:25) And God does not leave out the children, “…obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” (6:1) Can you see what God is communicating? Order and responsibility.

The concept came from our Creator. He made each of us with equal worth, but with distinct roles. It reflects the Holy Trinity. God the Father, God the Son and God the Spirit are separate but one with different responsibilities. The Spirit submits to the Father and the Son, while the Son submits to the Father.

Likewise, God built the family. He appointed the husband as leader, the wife under his leadership, the children under the parents and all under Jesus. This also reflects divine order, and was God’s perfect plan before evil and lawlessness came into the world causing chaotic disorder. Then husbands began dominating their wives and children, some being passive and others putting their work and hobbies first. Wives started controlling their husbands and putting their children first, and children rose up in defiance to their parents. It has been, and still is, a battle for selfish control.

Jesus is the answer to this chaos. He is the King of kings and Lord of lords, yet He humbled Himself, by submitting to the Father’s will to suffer, die and rise again. Why? So that we might be made new. It is not about male dominance or patriarchy. It is about the family coming under the authority of Christ the King with a willing and loving heart, as modeled for us through the cross.

These are hard truths, and will not be easy to follow, but through Christ it is possible. And today it can start with just one member of the family. Will you be the one? 

A prayer for you – Lord God, I pray for the families of America. End the chaos and the divorce epidemic. Bring husbands, wives and children to yield themselves before the one true King, and bring love, peace and forgiveness in their homes. In Jesus’ name. Amen.