Finding True Love

“The path of love is moving faster than ever, nearly 20% of couples are having sex within their first month of dating.”

We had known each other professionally through her work as a State Representative, and in my work as an Assistant News Director at our local radio station. We also were both youth workers at different churches. One day Kathe came to me and asked. “I’m starting up a community wide youth ministry. We need someone to help with evangelism. Would you like to be on the board and lead that?” After thinking and praying about it, I agreed. As we worked together building Detour Youth Ministry, little did I know, God had more in mind then reaching teenagers for Jesus. Romantic desires for Kathe began stirring within me, where eventually I found myself saying, “I have these feelings for her, but what should I do?” I had to decide where to go with all this. As I sought God’s wisdom, I realized she needed to know how I felt, and I needed to know if she felt the same.

We met for lunch, where I shared my feelings for her, and to my delightful surprise she felt the same. Then I asked, “I’m not interested in just dating, but dating with a view to marriage. Are you willing to start seeing each other with that understanding?” My request took her by surprise, but after some thought and prayer she agreed and on June 23, 2002 our lives were forever changed.

The path to love we walked had a set of moral boundaries. However, in today’s world that is a thing of the past. Instead, we live by desires, circumstances and whatever is convenient at the moment.

A government study revealed that 70% of today’s couples are desperate for true love, moving in together before marriage. This means the path of love is moving faster than ever. Another study showed that nearly 20% of couples had sex within their first month of dating.

In today’s relationships there is the first date, second date, the first touch of the hands, the first embrace, the first kiss, then sleeping together…all sometimes within 30 days. Where is the budding romance? Where is the love story to retell children and grandchildren?

We want, whatever we want…instantly. This includes love and happiness. But where do these fast-moving relationships without moral boundaries end up? Sometimes they lead to unplanned pregnancies, emptiness, disappointment, divorce or adulterous affairs.

Listen to the wisdom of God who says, do “not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” (Song of Solomon 3:5) God is warning us not to awaken the passions of love too soon. There is divine wisdom in employing self-control over our urges, while letting the shrouded mysteries of love stir within us. Over time we allow it to mature, grow and become a blossoming beautiful flower that can be cut at its peak of beauty at just the right time.

God created us with the capacity for love. How do we know when to move forward and awaken this love? The Bible says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5,6). While walking on the path of love that is filled with ups and downs and turns and twists, we are to fix our eyes on Jesus and trust Him through it all.

Jesus died and rose again, so that we would realize He is all we need. When we walk the path of love without Jesus, we feel we need the love of a special person for meaning or significance. However, when we turn from our way and trust in Jesus with all our heart, then we discover something new. Jesus is all we need. We learn that the love of a boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse is a bonus. It is no longer something we are desperately searching for, because we have found all we need in Christ.

A prayer for you – Lord God, I pray that you will help us to not go looking for love or pleasure in a person. Open our eyes and let us see that you are all we need. Lead us to trust in you with all our heart. In Jesus’ name. Amen.