The path of love is moving faster than ever, nearly 20% of couples are having sex within their first month of dating.
- Clint Decker
We had known each other professionally through her work as a State Representative, and in my work as an Assistant News Director at our local radio station. We also were both youth workers at different churches. One day Kathe came to me and asked. “I’m starting up a community wide youth ministry. We need someone to help with evangelism. Would you like to be on the board and lead that?” After thinking and praying about it, I agreed. As we worked together building Detour Youth Ministry, little did I know, God had more in mind then reaching teenagers for Jesus. Romantic desires for Kathe began stirring within me, where eventually I found myself saying, “I have these feelings for her, but what should I do?” I had to decide where to go with all this. As I sought God’s wisdom, I realized she needed to know how I felt, and I needed to know if she felt the same.
We met for lunch, where I shared my feelings for her, and to my delightful surprise she felt the same. Then I asked, “I’m not interested in just dating, but dating with a view to marriage. Are you willing to start seeing each other with that understanding?” My request took her by surprise, but after some thought and prayer she agreed and on June 23, 2002 our lives were forever changed.
The path to love we walked had a set of moral boundaries. However, in today’s world that is a thing of the past. Instead, we live by desires, circumstances and whatever is convenient at the moment.
A government study revealed that 70% of today’s couples are desperate for true love, moving in together before marriage. This means the path of love is moving faster than ever. Another study showed that nearly 20% of couples had sex within their first month of dating.
In today’s relationships there is the first date, second date, the first touch of the hands, the first embrace, the first kiss, then sleeping together…all sometimes within 30 days. Where is the budding romance? Where is the love story to retell children and grandchildren?
We want, whatever we want…instantly. This includes love and happiness. But where do these fast-moving relationships without moral boundaries end up? Sometimes they lead to unplanned pregnancies, emptiness, disappointment, divorce or adulterous affairs.
Listen to the wisdom of God who says, do “not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” (Song of Solomon 3:5) God is warning us not to awaken the passions of love too soon. There is divine wisdom in employing self-control over our urges, while letting the shrouded mysteries of love stir within us. Over time we allow it to mature, grow and become a blossoming beautiful flower that can be cut at its peak of beauty at just the right time.
God created us with the capacity for love. How do we know when to move forward and awaken this love? The Bible says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5,6). While walking on the path of love that is filled with ups and downs and turns and twists, we are to fix our eyes on Jesus and trust Him through it all.
Jesus died and rose again, so that we would realize He is all we need. When we walk the path of love without Jesus, we feel we need the love of a special person for meaning or significance. However, when we turn from our way and trust in Jesus with all our heart, then we discover something new. Jesus is all we need. We learn that the love of a boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse is a bonus. It is no longer something we are desperately searching for, because we have found all we need in Christ.
A prayer for you – Lord God, I pray that you will help us to not go looking for love or pleasure in a person. Open our eyes and let us see that you are all we need. Lead us to trust in you with all our heart. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
How does God confront selfish pride? With the weapon of humbleness.
– Clint Decker
“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18) There is good pride like when one puts forth their best effort to do an excellent job, or when a parent is proud of their child for displaying outstanding character in pressure filled situations. However, there is also an evil side to pride, where someone’s ego swells so massive that it becomes the cause of their own downfall. We have seen this too many times in politicians, athletes, actors, musicians, pastors and even in the common person on the street.
Not only can individuals have dangerous pride, but so can nations. There was once an ancient city that was an affluent and powerful force militarily, politically and economically. God said about them, “This is the exultant city that lived securely, that said in her heart, ‘I am, and there is no one else.’” (Zephaniah 2:15) These were dangerous words of pride, and Almighty God is an avenger toward it. For there is only one God and He will not tolerate any prideful competitors, albeit from mankind or other so-called gods.
How does God confront pride? With the weapon of humbleness. In His wisdom and sovereign power, He can patiently move to bring an entire nation or a single person to the end of themselves.
When God employs this strategy, to us it may appear as if chaos is breaking out everywhere. But to God He is strategically employing whatever is necessary to break our pride and humble us.
Global or national scenes can seem chaotic when wars break out, diseases are spreading, violent crime is increasing and morality, kindness and decency become the enemies of culture. And what about your own family or personal life when divorce hits or bankruptcy comes?
God said, “For my decision is to gather nations, to assemble kingdoms, to pour out upon them my indignation, all my burning anger; for in the fire of my jealousy all the earth shall be consumed.” (Zeph. 3:8) What makes God so angry? Pride! Because of mankind’s continuing stubborn and selfish pride, God in His anger at times, simply steps out of the way and gives people what they want. For governments, sometimes their own legislation and policies have brought chaos upon their own people. For families, sometimes their own moral and financial choices have brought chaos inside the walls of their own home. And unfortunately, innocent godly people have suffered because of the consequences of prideful people.
Why does God come against sinful pride? Jealousy. As you turn away from Him and toward other things, He becomes jealous for you. He wants you to turn toward Him, so He patiently stands with arms open wide, waiting for you. Yet in the meantime because you pridefully go after other things, violating His moral commands, wave after wave of chaos reigns down upon your life.
It does not need to be this way anymore! God’s ways are better than yours. He says, “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save.” (Zeph. 3:17) Will you make Him your God today? In your pride you have lost much, but God says, “…when I restore your fortunes before your eyes…” (Zeph. 3:20) What your prideful disobedience has ruined, God can restore. He can restore an entire nation or just one family. Both are equally precious in His sight. Take hold of this promise!
Will you stop fighting against God? Will you stop running? Will you stop trusting in yourself? Turn to Him and live. This is why Jesus died and rose again. To provide you a clear path to a new life in Him.
A prayer for you - Lord God, let each person examine themselves and reveal if there be any selfish pride. Let them examine their lives and admit if there is any chaos of their own making. Then bring them to humble themselves before you and ask for mercy that you might forgive their sin and restore what disobedience has taken away. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
“Don’t sit around and wait to get some love, rise up and give some.”
On Valentine’s Day Americans are expected to spend over 20 billion dollars on cards, flowers, chocolates, date nights and more. It is advertised as the most romantic day of the year. For some, it is a day looked forward to, while for others, it feels like Cupid’s arrow flew right on by. Let me share with you 5 positive Valentine’s Day truths. (Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay)
1. There is good in your relationship status, whether you are single or married. If you are single and not dating, it is easy to feel like there is something wrong with you while others have girlfriends, boyfriends or are getting married. If you are married and going through a difficult period, it is easy to feel discouraged when you see happily married couples. In situations like these God teaches us that we can live with hope, “I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul.” (Psalm 31:7) This Valentine’s Day, no matter your relationship situation, know that God sees you, therefore, choose to find a reason to rejoice in Him.
2. Don’t sit around and wait to get some love, rise up and give some. It is so easy to fall into the “woe is me” trap, hoping that your spouse or a special someone will come along and fulfill all your romantic hopes and dreams. Do you realize that others probably feel the same way? Jesus said, “…as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.” (Luke 6:31) This Valentine’s Day, go give some love! Instead of waiting for something to come to you, go to others. Arm yourself with some notes, flowers or chocolates and go be a blessing to someone.
3. Understand the real purpose in dating. Breaking news! It is not just for an experience. A Pew Research poll found that 42% of single Americans are looking for some kind of romance. Millions will be going out on dates this Valentine’s Day, hoping to find some.
Those who date in order to find elusive romantic feelings or sexual hookups, are self-centered, and missing the point. Dating is a method to help search for a lifelong marriage partner. The institution of marriage was established by our Creator. During history’s first marriage He said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife. And they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) On Valentine’s Day, do not go on a date just to fulfill some romantic desire, go with a vision for something more noble – marriage.
4. You were made for marriage and a family. The U.S. Census Bureau reported that in 1970 71% of all household were married couples. However, in 2022 that number was just 47%. Additionally, the CDC says the birth rate is the lowest in our history, at 1.62 births per woman. We are below the ability to replace our population. How did this happen? By lowering the value of marriage and family, our Creator’s plan.
For some, you have the gift of singleness, but for most God wants you step into His beautiful design of marriage and family. This Valentine’s Day, respond to God’s most holy plan.
5. Follow God’s ways. It is hard, but the most rewarding way. The Bible says, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights…” (James 1:17) Singleness, marriage and family are all gifts from God, but they come with great challenges. Do not let the abuse or heartbreak from others, nor your own foolish choices keep you from all that God has in store. Jesus died and rose again to take your sinfulness upon Himself. He has made a way for you.
This Valentine’s Day, turn from your sins and place your full trust in Christ alone. Love Him and live for Him with all your heart.
A prayer for you – Lord God, open our eyes to see the plans you have for us. Let us admit how we have turned from your ways. Today, help us to turn back to you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
