In these
situations, have you ever asked yourself, “What do I really want from them?”
If they have committed a crime, maybe it is jail time. In extreme situations,
where they have killed someone, perhaps the death penalty. In other cases, it
might be an apology or replacing something they have vandalized or stolen.
Does
our desire for someone to make things right always work? What if the offending
person is already dead? What if the person is uncooperative and does not want
to do anything? What if they try to, but it does not turn out so well. In the
end, what would be enough to satisfy us?
Forgiveness
is the only sure way of handling situations like this. It is written, “…as
the Lord [Jesus] has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Colossian
3:13) Forgiveness is an often-used term in the financial sector, referring to
the forgiveness of a loan or another type of financial debt. It is also used in
relationships with the same idea. When someone has offended you, they have
accrued an offense debt. They pay it off by admitting what they have done,
making no excuses, and apologizing. Then in response they are forgiven, and
peace is restored in the relationship.
However, it
normally does not work that way. Typically, the person who has hurt you does
not always come to make things right. Let me ask this tough question. Would you
forgive the one who has hurt you--without them admitting any wrong? It is easy
to forgive when the person genuinely apologizes, but hard when someone
arrogantly refuses. It is situations like these where forgiveness is
desperately needed but can only be done by the power of God.
In our
natural humanness we will only forgive if someone meets our conditions for it.
And when someone does not meet those, we refuse forgiveness. According to God’s
standards though, He requires it. No matter the gravity of the offense. No
matter the attitude of the offender. No excuses. God commands us to forgive.
Jesus
provided us an example through His cross. He forgave those who put Him on
there. For He suffered, died and rose again to provide forgiveness for their
forgiveness, including you and me. And He chose to do it despite the arrogance
of His enemies, and their rejection of Him.
Therefore,
as He forgave His enemies, so we must forgive ours.
But
what if we refuse to forgive, determining how the offenses against us is too
great? If that is our choice, then we must consider the consequences, which is
this--God will not forgive us.
In our natural state, it is nearly impossible to forgive, but with the power of God, it is possible. By faith call out to Him for help. Admit your weakness, but also your willingness to do it.
A prayer for you - Lord God, show us if there is anyone we need to forgive. Bring us to obey your command to forgive no matter how hard it is. Then empower us through the Holy Spirit to forgive, releasing the one who has offended us from any debt they owe. Enable us to forgive like Jesus and show His mercy to another. In Jesus’ name. Amen