Restoring Your Family

      "Let this be the start of a journey toward a new family.”

What is a woman? According to Merriam-Webster a woman is “an adult female person.” Then Webster defines female as one “having a gender identity that is opposite of a male.” How about a man? Dictionary.com says a man is “an adult male human being,” while giving male a complicated definition saying it is “having or relating to a gender identity that corresponds to a complex, variable set of social and cultural roles, traits, and behaviors assigned to people of the sex that typically produces sperm cells.” (Image by s05prodpresidente from Pixabay) 

What about marriage? The Cambridge Dictionary writes, that it is “a legally accepted relationship between two people in which they live together.” The 1828 edition of the Webster dictionary lays it out differently saying marriage is, “The act of uniting a man and woman for life.” And finally, what is the definition of family? The Collins dictionary describes it as, “A group of people who are related to each other, especially parents and their children.” While Britannica dictionary gives a more detailed understanding saying family is, “two married adults, usually a man and a woman…along with their offspring…more specifically known as a nuclear family.” 

Experts have described the family as the foundation of society, so when the family begins to be redefined, it can mean its downfall. Do you see what is happening in America? Increasing crime, poverty, mental health issues and overall cultural instability and chaos. These are all signs of trouble with the American family. Do you want to see this trend continue in your own life or family? Turn off the cultural noise. Swim upstream and consider living a different way.

The Bible is an accurate history book of mankind. It tells us how man and woman were created by God. After He created man, God said, “’It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’ So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:18,20-25)

The God of heaven and earth created man and woman. They knew Him, and He knew them. He brought them together as husband and wife to form a family, and called them to fill the earth with their children. But then something happened. Using the freedom God granted them, they eventually rejected Him. And when they did the family that God built, began to fall apart. As they persisted in following their own ways--men, women, marriages and families all began to feel the consequences of their choices. This is where millions of families are at today. 

But the good news, is it does not have to be this way anymore. God sent His only Son to die and rise again for you and your family. He came to point out that sin in our society, and in your own heart, is the cause of this upheaval we are living through. But there is a way to be forgiven and restored. When you turn from your sin and to Jesus by faith, with all your being, you will be transformed by His miraculous power. This will be the start of you being a new man or woman, a new husband or wife, a new dad or mom, a new son or daughter. It will be the start of a journey toward a new family.

A prayer for you – Lord God, bring dads and moms, and sons and daughters, to see how they have rejected you, and how it has impacted their family. Bring them this moment, to call upon you in faith, that they might be made new. In Jesus’ name. Amen. 

Do You Have a Good Name?

“When your name is said in your community,

 what do you think comes to a person’s mind?”

“A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold.” (Proverbs 22:1) What do you think of that statement from the Bible? It should make you stop and reflect on the kind of life you are living. (Image from iStock)

When your name is said in your community, what do you think comes to a person’s mind? What about among your family and closest friends, those who know you best, who know both your good and bad? What about with God? Keep in mind, He is a Spirit that is present everywhere all the time. Meaning, He has seen everything we have ever done and heard everything we have ever spoken. He also knows everything that has ever passed through our mind: all images, thoughts and motives. Based on that, what if someone came to God in heaven and mentioned your name to Him, what do you think would come to His mind?

The Bible verse clearly communicates that a person’s name has significance because it is a reflection of their life. And it states that a good name is to be chosen over riches. What does riches mean? It refers to a person’s strong focus on increased income, possessions, influence and all the different things that money can do at the expense of a good name. But what is at the heart of the pursuit of riches? Self. We want, what we want, when we want it. This reveals our perspective on life. First, we are the most important person in our life and primarily focus on what has a direct or indirect benefit on us. Second, we are only focused on the present or future of this life.

What does the proverb mean by desiring a “good name”? It does not primarily refer to a good name among people, because that would lead to pleasing others in order to be accepted by them. It indicates desiring a good name before God and acceptance by Him. This is the wiser and to be sought out above everything else in life.

How does one achieve a good name? It starts with admitting your life has been primarily about you, which has led to disobedience against God and the disrespect of others. It is lifting your eyes off yourself and up toward God’s only Son, Jesus, who died and rose again. It is calling upon God in faith, asking Him to help change your ways, and maybe even going to others to make things right whom you have wronged. It is God pouring His Spirit within you and giving you His character and power to live differently. And according to His Word, your life will start to become marked by a new set of qualities: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control.

The new life God will bring upon us will have three amazing promises. First, we will receive a new name. Yes, we will keep our previous name, but in being changed by God our name will become “good” by Him, thereby becoming new. Second, Jesus promises that our new name is written down in a book of life He possesses. Third, He promises that one day in the future, beyond this life, He will confess our new name before God the Father in heaven and all the angels.

If you continue living as you are, the God who knows all things will judge you accordingly and the present and eternal consequences that come will be justified. But if you desire a good name and favor with God above the temporal things of this life, and turn to Him with all your heart, you will escape His judgment and receive a new name that one day will be voiced among the angels.

A prayer for you - Lord God, I pray you will help us to examine my ways. Have we been only living for ourselves and this life? Have we disrespected others and disobeyed You in the pursuit of our interests? Lift our eyes toward You, for You are King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Save us. Change us. Give us a new name that we might live honorably before You. In Jesus name. Amen.

Parents, Change Starts with You

“The harmful choices of one generation

 gets passed on to the next through

 influence.”

How do the choices you make affect your children and grandchildren? I read the following from a woman about her family, “Everyone in my family for the past four generations has cheated — except for me and one cousin. (And I’m not sure about him.) My great-grandfather’s affairs were legendary, and I now own the mirror he bought my great-grandmother as an apology after one particularly public affair. My grandmother had affairs. My grandfather [did to], and used to take my father along to see his [lovers]. My father cheated with girls I went to high school with, and my sister has never had a relationship in which she hasn’t cheated. One cousin has been divorced four times, and is always engaged to the next one before the divorce is even filed.”(Image by Denise Husted from Pixabay)

How does this happen where the hurtful decisions of the parents are repeated by the children? We see this in a range of moral choices from divorce, sex outside of marriage, gambling, alcoholism, physical abuse and more. We see it in lifestyle choices like living in financial debt and maintaining an unhealthy life leading to obesity. We also see it in various attitudes and beliefs that are passed down to each generation.

The harmful choices of one generation gets passed on to the next through influence. It is written, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” (Proverbs 13:20) When children are young and impressionable, who are their biggest influencers? Family—parents, grandparents and siblings. And if those influencers are wise, what a blessing, but if dad and mom engage in foolish, reckless and immoral behavior in those early years, the children are likely to repeat the same things.

What is another word for bad moral choices? Sin. It is where we fall short of God’s perfect standard. Parents and children are all born with this inner corruption, which leads them toward rebelling against God’s ways. However, parents play a key role through influence. They can either lead their children away from God and deeper into a sinful lifestyle, or they can lead them toward God, and show how they can be free from the power of sin. How can a parent do this?

1)    Examine your life to see if there are areas where you have provided an ungodly example, and thereby influenced your children. 

2)    Be willing to stop and change your ways for the sake of yourself and your family.

3)    Turn toward Jesus by faith, and call upon Him with a desperate heart to change you.

4)    Through the power of God, be transformed and live the difference every day before your family.

5)    Teach your children and grandchildren the ways of God, that they would follow after them.

6)    Earnestly pray for them, that God’s Spirit would change their hearts, just like He did yours.

7)    Accept responsibility for how you influenced your children, but do not bear the guilt of their own independent choices.

8)    Step out of the way and let God work. Do not let your guilt from past choices cause you to be an enabler or rescuer of your children. Give them to God, and let them succeed or fail because of their own choices. The Scriptures say, “Let each one test his own work…For each will have to bear his own load.” (Galatians 6:4-5)

9)    Be patient and endure. It took time for you, and it will take time for them.

10) Be filled with optimism and hope. No matter how hard it is, how you are treated or how long it takes, believe that nothing is impossible with God.    

A prayer for you – Lord God, I pray that the cycle of harmful choices that have been passed down from parents to children for generations. Let the family tree be changed today! The death and resurrection of Jesus, shows us that change is possible and how nothing is to big for God. Come, Lord, change our own hearts as parents. Come, Lord, change our family! In Jesus’ name. Amen.