Is Your Marriage Headed Toward Divorce?

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"What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."  (Matt. 19:6)

June 23, 2002 I married Kathe Lloyd. After we had known each other for several years, I approached her and asked, “You are someone I would be interested in marrying someday. Would you like to start dating?” And so we began, then got engaged, married, and had a hope like so many, that we would have a good marriage and a long life together. After all these years, despite some minor and major differences, we have been able by the power of God to love, forgive and still be together.

Unfortunately, for millions of others their story is different. Their marriages have ended in divorce or are headed that way. Our family is no different. Between Kathe’s side of the family and mine, there have been 16 divorces, spanning three generations. Plus, since God called me into the ministry in 1990, I have seen up-close story after story of tragic endings to marriages.

What does God have to say about all this? He created the first man and woman, then officiated humankind’s first wedding ceremony. Unfortunately, after that perfect wedding held in the spectacular Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve disobeyed God and the corrupting influence of evil entered into the world. This influence affected Adam and Eve’s own family and has every other family down to us. Consequently, multitudes of marriages have ended in divorce for most of human history. Even so, God has continually fought back against these forces that seek to destroy what He instituted.

When our wise Creator sent His beloved Son from heaven to earth, He addressed the massive divorce problem in His own culture. “…Pharisees came up to [Jesus] and tested him by asking, ‘Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?’ He answered, ‘Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,’ and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.’ They said to him, ‘Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?’ He said to them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so…” (Matthew 19:3-8)

You can see Jesus was facing a situation in which people were not seeking to save their marriages, but instead they were trying to find a religious or legal rationale to end their marriage. How did Jesus respond? He took people back to the beginning, to the first wedding in the Garden of Eden, to show them what their Creator’s perfect standard was, and still is, for marriage. For He said, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Even in the face of widespread divorce and evil everywhere, God’s command has not changed. But Jesus’ opponents, who obviously wanted divorce to always be an option, pressed Jesus on why God (through Moses) allowed for it. Jesus gave a bold and direct answer, “Because of the hardness of your hearts…” Or put in other words, “Because of the evil within you.” This is the deeper reason why couples end up in the courthouse.

Is your marriage headed toward divorce? Is your hardness of heart causing the trouble? Often there is one spouse, where if he or she changes course, the marriage stands a chance at avoiding divorce. If you are that spouse, I pray that you will examine your heart. Then humble yourself before God. Admit your failings to Him, and cry out with all your being for Him to save you and your marriage. It may seem impossible because of what you have done, but with God nothing is impossible.

A prayer for you – Lord God, Jesus came to die and rise again that sin would not triumph. Defeat the sin of divorce that is knocking at the doors of so many homes. May spouses turn to you in desperation to save their marriage. Perform miracles, O God! In Jesus’ name. Amen.