What is Real Love?

“Is love more than just a feeling?”

What is love? An Internet search engine indicated over 12 billion results for that question. Billboard’s top love song of all time is Endless Love, which held the number one position on the charts for nine weeks. Lionel Richie and Diana Ross closed their hit song with the words, “You'll be the only one, 'cause no one can deny, this love I have inside, and I'll give it all to you, my love…my endless love.” No matter if we are single, married, young or old - we want to know love. We want to find that special someone we can experience an endless love with.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines love as “a feeling of a strong or constant affection for a person.” I know this is a respected dictionary’s definition, but is this definition accurate? What if the feeling slips away over time? What if the feeling is for more than one person, especially after we are married? Is love really just a feeling?

 Love has a feeling nature to it. The Scriptures use beautiful imagery to describe this, “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised.” (Song of Solomon 8:7) This God-given romantic love between a man and woman has a mystical attraction that draws them toward one another. It is an attraction that cannot be quenched, drowned or purchased with all the riches in the world.

Love has a moral nature to it. The Scriptures speak eloquently about this, saying “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

When words like patience, kindness, not envying, boasting, nor being arrogant or rude are used, it reflects the moral nature of love.  

When a woman uses sharp words to tear down her husband, children or boyfriend, that is immoral and no demonstration of real love. But when she shows restraint by being patient and not rude, that is love. 

Love has a deliberate nature to it. When a man is focused and determined in his work, he has a choice in how he will respond to that internal drive. Will he yield himself fully to his career and neglect his family, reflecting nothing of real love? Or will he not insist on his own way by deliberately loving his family, through focusing on them as well?   

How can we find this God-given romantic love, with high moral standards that puts others above ourselves? Is it beyond our reach? Is it possible for us to obtain it?

It starts with the author of love Himself - God. For the Bible says, “God is love,” (1 John 4:8) and true love can only be found in Him. Nowhere else.

To obtain this divine love, you must turn from your selfish ways and believe, or commit yourself fully to His Only Son – Jesus. The Bible says in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

In Jesus, God demonstrated real love when Christ suffered, died and rose again for you. He did that so the greatest barrier to real love can be removed from your heart – your self-centeredness. And it can be replaced with a new nature, one that is God and others centered. A nature that is filled with His supernatural love and divine power, to enable you to live out that love, even in the most difficult situations.  

A prayer for you – Lord God, we confess how we have hurt those whom we have loved, because it has been all about ourselves. We desperately want real love, but we need your help. Change our hearts, O God. Remove our hearts of stone and fill them with your divine love. In Jesus’ name. Amen. 

Facing America’s Painful Past

“There is a way for the dividing walls of racial hostility and injustices from the past to be broken down.”

When my wife and I took a personal trip to New Mexico, at one point we found ourselves standing in front of an old building that was half in ruins. It was surrounded by a cemetery with rickety crosses, some leaning to the left and others to the right. As we asked about the building, we were told it used to be a church, and as we learned what happened there, we were left speechless. (Photo by Clint Decker)

We were standing in front of the San Geronimo Church, and in February 1847 it became the eternal monument of the Taos Revolt.

The cause for the horrific tragedy began in 1846, when the American government was expanding westward, and American General Stephen Kearny marched into Mexican territory and claimed it for the United States. Soon tensions rose between the Americans, and the native Mexicans and Pueblo Indians. In retaliation for the Americans unjust oppression, the two groups joined together and carried out a bloody massacre on U.S. officials and their families. In response, weeks later the American military pursued the Mexicans and Indians, which ended at the San Geronimo Church near present day Taos, New Mexico. There American soldiers sought revenge by carrying out their own bloody massacre of over 150 men, women and children seeking refuge in the church.

The United States government should not have seized the lands they did, and neither should have either massacre taken place in retaliation against the other. All of it was preventable, and a dark part of Mexican, Pueblo Indian and American history. And what are the natural consequences of such evil? Divisive hate, anger and unforgiveness for generations.

When we look at the Taos Revolt, and the many others like it that took place between the expanding American government and Native Americans, what is the root of the problem? Is it about racial division - the white man versus the person of color? Is it about government corruption? Is it about a lust for power and control?

Those are all symptoms of the deeper problem, which is spiritual at its core. God describes the central issue, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9) Only a heart that is sick could hate another person because of their race, steal from others, or justify revengeful bloodshed.

God says, “You shall not steal.” (Exodus 20:15) Whether someone has their car stolen or their homeland, all forms of stealing are unjust and condemned by God. He also gives no justification for retaliatory bloodshed when He states “…never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” (Romans 12:19) Furthermore God declares, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Rom. 12:21) What happens when one is overcome by the darkness within themselves, and returns evil for evil? Then evil never leaves them, and they live in a perpetual cycle of hate and revenge for generations.

How can hearts like this have peace, and bring an end to this deadly cycle? Only one way. Through the sacrificial death of Jesus Christ. He came from heaven to earth, died and rose again to change the hearts of men and women. His death provided a way for dark and sinful hearts to be transformed. The Bible says, “For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility…” (Ephesians 1:14)

The dividing wall of racial hostility and injustices from the past can be broken down. When people come to the cross of Christ in a spirit of humility, repentance and faith; lives will be transformed. And flowing from those changed hearts will be joy, love and forgiveness for one’s enemies.

A prayer for you – Lord God, you know about the injustices that have happened in our nation’s past. I pray that wherever there is division because of these evils, you would break down those walls through the healing power of forgiveness in the cross of Christ. Through Him, tear down the walls that divide us. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

When Tragedy Strikes

“God does not hide from the fact that people often question Him in times of crisis.”

Sometime ago I was visiting with some high school seniors and asked them what their classmates thought about God. "They’re sometimes confused", they said. I asked them to explain. "They see bad things happen in the world and wonder why. If God is God, then why didn’t He prevent it?" As I heard their responses, I thought about how many millions of others, whether young or old, think the same thing. (Photo by Rhodi Lopez on Unsplash)   

One of the many reasons the Bible is my favorite book, is because it is transparent. It is a divinely inspired book about God that includes stories of the very things the teenagers were addressing. God does not hide from the fact that people often question Him in times of crisis. 

When Jesus, God’s only Son, hung on the cross and was near death, He looked toward heaven and cried out in anguish, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46)

When King David led the nation of Israel, and was facing enemies who threatened the future of his country he wrote, "Why, O LORD, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?" (Psalm 10:1)

When Moses was struggling to lead the Hebrew people, tragedy struck and the people rebelled. Moses lamented before God, "O Lord, why have you done evil to this people? Why did you ever send me?" (Exodus 5:22)

It is natural for us to question or even become angry at God when bad things happen. Let me share four practical ways we can respond to tragedy, based on how Jesus walked through His own dark valley.

1) Accept the reality of the curse of sin. When Jesus faced death He understood about the existence of the curse of sin in the hearts of all people, and in creation itself. He knew the lies He would face, the abandonment He would deal with and the horrific pain He would experience were all due to the presence of sin and evil in the world. Though He accepted this reality, He determined to walk through it, and by His divine power, would not allow tragedy to win.

As you go through your situation, accept this same reality, but also accept that Jesus is bigger, greater and more powerful than any tragedy.

2) Turn toward God, not away from Him. As Jesus hung on the cross and felt the weight of the world on His shoulders, He cried out, "Why God?" Notice, He turned His words of sorrow toward God, not away from Him, and remained faithful to Him to the end.

Tragedy has the potential to lead us away from God. We might put down the Bible or walk away from church. No matter how dark things get, refuse to turn away from God. Do not let your tragic circumstances have the final say. Instead, like Jesus, take your questions directly to God. Pour out your heart. Scream. Yell. Cry. Let it all out before Him.

3) Face tragedy with a spirit of forgiveness. Jesus faced the people responsible for His unjust circumstances with forgiveness.

 Unlike Jesus though, our tendency is to lash out, and want others to suffer like we have. And eventually, our anger, bitterness and unforgiveness become like chains around us making our suffering worse. Through Jesus, you can have those chains broken and fall to your feet.

4) Overcome by faith. The Scripture teaches that Jesus faced His death with joy. How could He do such a thing? Because He knew the future. He knew He would rise from the dead and overcome all the evil He was walking through. 

When devastating news comes, grab hold of Jesus. Let Him be your example and hope. He has overcome. And because He has, when you place your faith in Him, you will too.

A prayer for you - Lord God, we take our tragedy, whatever it is we are suffering with, and lay it at your feet. We turn from any unforgiveness toward others or anger toward you. Lord, save us from this dark valley we are walking through. Help us overcome. In Jesus’ name. Amen.