Should You Move in Together or Wait for Marriage?

Photo by Karen Warfel from Pixabay

“God did not intend that a son or daughter would leave their parents for their boyfriend or girlfriend, instead, He planned for them to leave their parents for their husband or wife.”

Should marriage simply be a relationship option? Meaning, couples should consider marriage as a first choice, because it is important. However, if they decide not to, then living together can be a solid second. Which of course, can lead to marriage later. What is your opinion?

Religions of the world advocate for and see the value in marriage such as Christianity, Islam, Judaism and Hinduism. Governments of the world have laws that recognize and encourage marriage. Yet, amid this, for generations there have been a steady increase of couples choosing to live together first, before marriage, or avoiding it altogether. In many situations now, people are hard pressed to find someone they know that has never lived with someone outside of marriage. It is an accepted cultural norm to avoid wedding bells and instead sleep with a person for one night or 20 years.

This begs an honest question. Why wait?

Let me respond by starting at the beginning, where marriage has its origins. God created humankind’s first man and woman, Adam and Eve. Then brought them together as husband and wife with this statement, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) Since that day, marriage has been a part of the fabric of our world across all cultures and religions.

“Shall leave” means a man and woman will both separate themselves from their parents. They purposefully leave behind dad and mom, in order to join themselves as husband and wife. What does this communicate? It demonstrates a serious and deep commitment to their spouse, where they yield all of themselves to one another, and shows they value their spouse, greater than their parents and all others.

God did not intend that a son or daughter would leave their parents for their boyfriend or girlfriend. Nor did He intend that parents would welcome a girlfriend to sleep with their son, in their own home. There is no thoughtful, dedicated and life-long commitment in this. It is a short-term, half-hearted way of thinking, that puts feelings of pleasure ahead of a serious and permanent commitment.

“Shall leave” refers to a fortification or strength. When a husband joins with a wife, they become one. They become stronger together through their mutual dedication. When couples simply move in together, there is not the same strength to draw on when tough times come, the feelings of attraction come and go, and days turn into months or years, because there is no marital commitment.

“Hold fast” means keeping close, as skin is to the bone. This relates to physical closeness, being near together in proximity. It communicates attraction, where a husband is drawn to his wife. It speaks of intimacy, when a man and woman join sexually and become one flesh. Lastly, this highlights loyalty. A husband “holds fast” to his wife, because he is loyal to her, come whatever may. Where is the demonstration of marriage-type loyalty in a live-in relationship?

Millions are living together with their boyfriends or girlfriends. Though it is popular and many are choosing this path, if you are one of those, will you reconsider and chart a new course for yourself? God wants His best for you. Follow His path, even if you walk it alone among your friends.

Though you have fallen short of God’s standard, through Jesus your guilt can be removed, and your shame washed away. Christ shed His blood, died and rose again to give you new life. But there is a price.

You must be willing to stop sleeping with the one you are not married to, and turn fully to Jesus by faith. This is repentance. Then His glorious gift of forgiveness will be yours.

Today, decide to change the future of your family tree.

A prayer for you – Lord God, I pray for the one who is living together with someone he or she is not married to. Bring them to ponder your truth and be persuaded to turn from their sin and follow your ways. Bring them newness of life and freedom this hour. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

America’s Humble Beginnings

Photo from Britiannica.com

“And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.” – Declaration of Independence.

America had a humble and desperate beginning. Our nation’s Declaration of Independence reveals this. Thomas Jefferson, who carefully crafted the historic document wrote, “The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States.” Then Jefferson goes on to list 27 examples of the king’s oppressive governmental rule over America’s 13 colonies. All the signers knew how bold of a statement the Declaration was. They knew its implications, and how it would bring upon them the wrath of the king and the full power of his military, unlike what they had seen up to that point.

Understanding what they were to embark on, Jefferson wrote, “We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions…” Jefferson and the signers knew they would need the help of the Almighty to withstand the forces of the powerful British Army and Navy. Today, we know the result of America’s Revolutionary War, but on July 4, 1776, when the 56 men signed their names, the future was uncertain. This is why Jefferson concluded with these solemn words, “And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.” Though they believed victory was possible, they also knew defeat was too. And they knew both the price of victory or defeat could be their very lives. Therefore, with humble hearts they cited the urgent need for the Lord God’s shield of protection about them.

Without question, America’s founders and their colonies were desperate and dependent on God.

How is America today? We have gone from 13 colonies to 50 states, from a population of 2,000,000 to 330,000,000, from a ragtag Continental Army to the world’s most powerful military, from small agriculture beginnings to the wealthiest of all nations.

God once spoke these words to the nation of Tyre from centuries past, “…by your wisdom and your understanding you have made wealth for yourself, and have gathered gold and silver into your treasuries…your heart has become proud…” (Ezekiel 28:4,5) America has been blessed and flourished like no other nation in history, but in our growth, our heart has become dangerously proud.

We have risen to say, “Look, see what we have done!” rather than acknowledging what God has done. We have rejected the One who birthed America. We are erasing whatever vestiges of Him are left in our history. We have covered up the godly foundations He laid across all our institutions. Consequently, we have turned from governing by the principles of His Word to governing by the impulses of our corruptible passions. Instead of celebrating uprightness, we celebrate degenerate behavior. Rather than cheering equal justice under the law, we cheer the injustice poured out on our enemies. Instead of championing all that is good, we destroy it and call evil, good.

The pride of America has turned to arrogance, causing us to declare our independence from God. To this God says, “…Because you make your heart like the heart of a god, therefore, behold, I will bring foreigners upon you.” (Ez. 28:7)

This is a warning of God’s judgement if we do not change. He is not blind! He sees all we have done, and in His own time He will act.

Where is America’s hope? God has sent His only Son, that whoever comes unto Him might be saved. Our nation can be rescued, one soul at a time. He is being patient with us, not treating us as we deserve. Let us heed heaven’s warning before it is too late. Now is the time!

A prayer for you – Lord God, we the people of these United States of America, confess our sin. We have strayed from your good and perfect ways. How wrong we have been. We humble ourselves before you in a spirit of repentance. Forgive us O God, for what we have done. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Does God Love You? Yes and No

 Photo from Dreamstime

 

"All people are loved through God’s benevolence, but only some are loved through His covenant."

As I start this column, I am thinking about the hit television show from years ago, Touched by an Angel. It portrayed a beautiful female angel in the show telling people, “God loves you,” with an Irish accent. I used to love walking around the house and repeating it, just like the angel sounded. 

It is a famous phrase that nearly every preacher in the world regularly lays ahold of and declares to children, youth and adults of all ages. Perhaps you have been told this, or even stated it to others. Often it is used with the non-religious, believing it can warm a cold heart, break down the walls of spiritual resistance or prepare a lost soul to enter into God’s kingdom.

Where does the phrase come from? The Bible, and from one of its most recognized verses, John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” And from Romans 5:8, “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” There are other verses as well.  

There are two kinds of divine love expressed in God’s Word; a benevolent and covenant love. Benevolent love is found in John 3:16. The word for love in the passage refers to taking pleasure in, or longing for. One could rewrite the verse to get a better understanding like this, “For God so longed for the world, that he gave his only Son…” Or Romans 5:8 could be stated “but God shows his longing for us in that…” These verses are more like a description of God’s love toward a general audience, versus a direct statement like we have made it to be. It is a love that expresses His passionate desire for all people to believe in His Son and be set free from their sins. 

Covenant love is found in Jesus’ words to His disciples, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.” (John 15:9) There are places in the Bible like this, where God has said in essence “I love you,” but it is only found in direct statements to His chosen people Israel, and to Jesus’ appointed disciples. It is a love that comes out of a covenant relationship; which God has with those who have repented of their sin, placed their faith in Christ, and walk faithfully with Him. 

All people are loved through God’s benevolence, but only some are loved through His covenant.

Sometimes people can misunderstand God’s benevolent love and feel it means they are accepted by God and forgiven automatically without conditions. This is a grave mistake with serious implications. Listen to what God detests, “There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. (Proverbs 6:16-19) 

Even though God longs for the world to be saved, He will not tolerate its evil. For He has laid down a warning. John 3:16 states “…that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” 

To believe is to entrust one’s entire life under the authority of the Kingship of Jesus. If a person refuses that command, then he will perish, meaning he will be destroyed under the wrath of God forever. However, if one turns from their disobedience and responds to God’s benevolent love, then he will receive the gift of eternal life and the blessed promise of forgiveness, that comes through the death and resurrection of God’s only Son. Then he will enter into God’s sacred covenant love. 

A prayer for you – Lord God, help people to understand the truth of your love. Let them not be deceived, believing you require nothing of them. Open their eyes, that they would respond to your divine kindness by leaving their sinful ways and placing their faith in you. Bring precious souls into your covenant love today. In Jesus’ name. Amen.