The Problem with Every Man's Heart

"Why does God appear so hard on men versus women?  He says, “Husbands . . . do not be harsh with [your wives].”  (Colossians 3:18) And He follows that up with, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”  (Col. 3:20) Since God is all-wise, why did He not address the women, teaching them not to be harsh with their husbands, and urging them also to refrain from provoking the children?"

Why does God appear so hard on men versus women?  He says, “Husbands . . . do not be harsh with [your wives].”  (Colossians 3:18) And He follows that up with, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”  (Col. 3:20) Since God is all-wise, why did He not address the women, teaching them not to be harsh with their husbands, and urging them also to refrain from provoking the children? 

God is not giving women a pass.  He expects both spouses to be kind toward each other, and both parents to be loving toward their children.  Here is the reason; men have greater issues with harshness and anger than women. 

In our society, the majority of inmates in our prisons are men.  Many of the illegal acts they committed involved anger.  Violent crimes like murder, rape, assault, robbery.  Ask any police officer about domestic abuse calls, and it is mostly due to the husband or boyfriend.  Ask any school teacher about fights or bullying, and boys are most often the culprits. 

In the home, a man is more likely than a woman to hit, push, grab, sexually abuse, threaten, curse, intimidate, be demeaning, condemning, demanding or overly strict. 

Do women have problems with harshness and anger?  Yes, but for men it is clearly more significant, especially when the presence of their size and strength is considered.  Why do men struggle with this?  For the answer, we have to go back to Adam and Eve, the first two human beings.  They were created by God and were in perfect relationship with Him, until they disobeyed and the curse of sin entered the world.  Consequently, all of creation, including men and women, have suffered for this.  To Eve, representing the future of all women, God said, “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”  (Genesis 3:16) God had appointed man to be the leader of his household and to do so in love and humbleness.  But due to sin, his leadership was corrupted with a selfish inconsiderate, controlling and domineering spirit.  This results in at times, treating his wife with harshness and provoking his children toward anger and discouragement.    

Is it possible for a father to overcome these tendencies and lead his family with a heart of service and selfless love?  Yes!  Instead of being harsh, God tells husbands to “love your wives.”  (Col. 3:18) Rather than provoking the children to anger, God states to fathers, “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”  (Ephesians 6:4) What is God saying here?  He is declaring to men that change is possible!  “Bring them up” refers to nourishing and cherishing.  How can a man shift from being controlling and domineering over his family, to serving and treasuring them?  This is how.  God says to “put off your old self” and “put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”  (Eph. 4:21,24) 

Within yourself, you do not have the ability to become this kind of man.  You have a heart problem that has only one remedy – Jesus.  He took your anger and harshness upon Himself when He died on the cross.  Then when He rose again, He conquered it.  And when He ascended back to heaven, He sent His Spirit to indwell His followers so they will have the power to live transformed lives.  Through Jesus, you can lead your home by loving your wife as you ought.  Through Jesus, you can cherish your children as you should.  Today, put off the old and put on the new.  

A prayer for you – “Lord Jesus, make us like you.  You are kind, good and loving.  We are sinful, angry and controlling men.  We do not want to live this way anymore.  For the sake of our wives and children, change us.  By your power, help us to put off the old and put on the new. In your holy name, Amen." 

Mourning in America

"How shall we respond to the condition of our country? Children are slain in our schools and on our streets. Women are sexually assaulted in the daylight. Young women are trafficked for the pleasure of their captors. Sons and daughters dishonor their parents, and parents abuse their sons and daughters. Babies do not live to see their mother’s face. Those in authority are cursed, slandered and threatened. Our citizens blindly enslave themselves to destructive forces. Ministers of God offer words of vain hope, but refuse to lay bare the people’s disobedience."

Read carefully the divinely inspired words of Jeremiah the prophet.  He penned them in a spirit of mourning over the condition of his own nation, whom he so loved.  “Women are raped in Zion, young women in the towns of Judah. Princes are hung up by their hands; no respect is shown to the elders. Young men are compelled to grind at the mill, and boys stagger under loads of wood. The old men have left the city gate, the young men their music. The joy of our hearts has ceased; our dancing has been turned to mourning.” (Lamentations 5:11-15) 

As I read Jeremiah’s stark language about the state of his nation, it makes me wonder about America. Children are slain in our schools and on our streets. Women are sexually assaulted in the daylight. Young women are trafficked for the pleasure of their captors. Sons and daughters dishonor their parents, and parents abuse their sons and daughters. Babies do not live to see their mother’s face. Those in authority are cursed, slandered and threatened. Our citizens blindly enslave themselves to destructive forces. Ministers of God offer words of vain hope, but refuse to lay bare the people’s disobedience.

How shall we respond to the condition of our country? What did Jeremiah do? He observed his nation carefully. He saw what was taking place and rightly concluded; the destruction happening before his eyes, was because the nation had sinned against God. He lamented, “The crown has fallen from our head; woe to us, for we have sinned!” (Lam. 5:16).

Americans are an exceptionally proud people. Has our crown fallen? Has it been tarnished by our immoral ways? Are the things we see happening, a result of our sin?

Maybe in response to another tragedy or injustice that grips the attention of our community or nation, we ought to follow Jeremiah’s example, “Arise, cry out in the night, at the beginning of the night watches! Pour out your heart like water before the presence of the Lord! Lift your hands to him for the lives of your children . . .” (Lam. 2:19)

The events happening in our nation reflect the darkness of mankind’s heart. It is an evil, a lawlessness that seems as if it has been released upon us. No man has an answer for this. It cannot be solved through human efforts. It is a spiritual problem that needs a spiritual answer, which is found in the One who calls Himself, Savior. Jeremiah wrote, “Let us test and examine our ways, and return to the Lord!” (Lam. 3:40) Reflect upon our nation, your own community, your family, your soul. As you do, know that God can redeem! Jeremiah believed that about his nation, when it was at its lowest point, “Restore us to yourself, O Lord . . .” (Lam. 5:21) Why did he says this? Because he believed in a great God, “But you, O Lord, reign forever; your throne endures to all generations.” (Lam. 5:19) When grey skies form over us, it feels as if God is absent. Like He is far away and does not care. Praise God though, the grey skies cannot hide the truth, neither can the waves of evil. They distract and intimidate, but God is true, and He demonstrated that by sending Jesus, who died and rose again to overcome the darkness.

A prayer for you – “O God, hear us I pray. We observe and lay before you, our nation. We have sinned and desperately need your saving power. Humble us. Bring us to weep for our children and our neighbor. We believe that in you, the evil we see across the country and in our own hearts, can be overcome. We confess our weakness, acknowledge your greatness and cry out for your help, O God. In Jesus’ name, Amen."

Can Religious Duties Forgive Sins?

"No religious ritual or tradition of any sort, done as perfectly and consistently as possible, can make you acceptable before God.  Only Jesus can.  His blood, as shed on the cross, has the only power to cleanse and give you peace with God." 

Jesus was constantly at odds with the religious leaders of His day. They regularly tried to entrap Him to disobey their laws and turn the people against Him. Each time though, Jesus masterfully refuted their words, amazing the people with His wisdom.  (Photo by James Coleman on Unsplash)

On one such occasion, they observed His disciples were not following their tradition of hand washing. A form of religious cleansing. And there were other such traditions Jesus and His disciples did not observe, which drew strong criticism from the leaders.

Jesus publicly rebuked them by quoting the Old Testament Scriptures against them, which they probably had memorized, “Well did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written, ‘This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’” (Mark 7:6-7)

What was Jesus saying? He was pointing out how they put so much effort into following their outward traditions, they neglected the inward condition of their heart. Jesus called this hypocrisy, which means – acting. He accused them of simply being religious actors, focusing on their outward acts, and that of others, but overlooking what is most important.

Are we any different? It is easy for us to do the same and strictly focus on the outward by engaging in various religious activities or good deeds. There have been entire religious systems built on this. They have gathered large followings since they tie-in spiritual rewards like the forgiveness of sins, the assurance of heaven in the after-life, physical healings or financial provision. And conversely, they keep the crowds by declaring curses or disciplines if they do not adhere.

The religious leaders of Jesus’ day, preached how outward physical washings provided inward spiritual cleansing. Some religions in our day preach similar rewards for followers who minister to the poor, attend religious services, pray several times a day, observe specific moral standards, are baptized or give to the church. Can engaging in outward religious rituals, as good and innocent as they are, forgive sins and make us acceptable to God?

Read what Jesus said to His own followers in clarifying where the religious leaders got it wrong, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.” (Mk. 7:20-23)

Jesus stated the problem with the human condition is within. It is a problem of the heart. This is what makes you unclean and unacceptable before God. But mistakenly, you engage in outward religious acts believing they can inwardly cleanse. In other words, you believe you can save yourself.

The things in your heart that defile you, is what leaves you condemned before God. No religious ritual or tradition of any sort, done as perfectly and consistently as possible, can cleanse. God has told us what it takes, “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Romans 5:1) Justified by faith means you can obtain cleansing and good standing with God by faith in His only Son. You cannot save yourself, only Jesus can. If you will turn from trusting in yourself, your religion, your good works, and trust wholly in Christ, then you can be cleansed and have peace with God. Christ came to suffer, die and rise again for you. Only His blood that was shed on the cross can cleanse you from within.

A prayer for you – “Lord God, I confess my efforts at focusing on the outward, believing that through those efforts, I can cleanse myself. I turn from that belief, and place my trust in Christ alone. I am not good enough, but Jesus is. Only He can save. In His name, Amen."