Homosexuality is Dividing the American Church

I have a fellow minister friend who has an effective and growing ministry to teens and college students. One of his challenges to them is to stop yelling at each other on sensitive issues and come to the middle.  Differing views on homosexuality are one of those subjects that generate much disagreement.  According to a religious survey on same sex marriage conducted in 2017, over 60% of Christians who attend more conservative churches oppose it, while nearly 70% of Christians in more liberal churches support it.  Conclusion: we have a divided and confused church. 

Where is the middle though?  I think my friend is stating our attitude more than an actual position.  We should have a Christ-like spirit of graciousness in our discussions, but then put a Bible in the middle of our conversation and point to it. 

Denominations and local churches everywhere are being forced to wrestle with questions they probably never thought they would be facing.  “Should our denomination ordain gay or lesbian pastors?”  “What is our position on gay marriage and civil unions?”  “Should our pastor officiate over a same sex wedding?”  “Should our church welcome a homosexual who wants to become a member?”  “Should our church leave a denomination that embraces gay friendly theology?”    

God’s Word says, “Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral . . . nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality . . . will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).  I agree with this statement and believe God sees homosexuality as a form of sexual immorality, no matter if it is consensual or not, and declares it sinful just like adultery.  To explain further, God views any sexual activity (even lustful thoughts) outside of marriage between a man and woman, as violation of His divine law and unholy.  To believers in Christ who agree with the above statement, here are three things we can do in this climate of inclusivity and equality.   

1.    Engage in discipleship.  Discussions on homosexuality need to move from a social and political nature, to a discipleship one, especially among the younger generations.  Senior Pastors and Youth Pastors, I urge you to regularly teach what the Bible says about homosexuality.  Currently the media, school teachers and university professors are discipling them.  I know it is controversial and sometimes silence is preferred, but if the church is not going to disciple them, who will?

2.    Show kindness.  Love does not mean approval of conduct.  Jesus taught us to love one another, and love means to show kindness and compassion.  As a body of Christ, while we disagree with homosexuality, let us over flow with kindness and compassion to those in the life style and to those who advocate for it. 

3.    Lift up Jesus.  When I am listening to a Christian radio station, and I hear a church leader talking about homosexuality, I yell, “Where is Jesus?”  Too often we get quoting verses, explaining positions, or even wander into the political realm and leave Jesus knocking at the door, waiting to be brought into the conversation.  As a church, let us recommit to always make Jesus and His work on the cross, to be the center piece of any discussion on homosexuality.  I left off verse 11, in the First Corinthians passage which says, “And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”  In Jesus, there is hope for the sexually immoral.  Additionally, in Jesus, there is hope in the face of division.  Walls that divide us can come down as we mutually submit to His holy Word and love one other.

A prayer for you to pray– “Lord God, I pray for the church in America and the great division among us over homosexuality.  Come Lord, unite Your church around Your Word.  Let us humble ourselves before you and one another.  Revive us, oh Lord!  In Jesus’ name.  Amen.”

Choosing to Love and Forgive My Dad

This is not a February valentine column about a love between a man and woman.  Rather, it is about a complex love between a father and son.

 Recently, my wife and I watched Ragamuffin, a movie about the life of Rich Mullins, a musical prodigy, and the difficult relationship he had with his verbally and emotionally abusive father.  It reminded us of another movie, I Can Only Imagine, about the life of singer, Bart Millard, and the difficulties he too had with his father, who physically abused him. 

The movies connected with audiences because, unfortunately, so many have stories of broken relationships with their dads.  I had a difficult one with my father.  He was a pastor and my parents had four children, of which I am the youngest.  He was a complicated man who had a strained relationship with nearly every member of our immediate and extended family.  On one occasion, when I shared with him that God had called me into the ministry, I mistakenly assumed his support.  Instead he stated, “You’re going to need to go to college and you weren’t a very good student.  I don’t know how you’re going to make it.”  From that moment until I left for college, a year and a half later, my dad was the greatest challenge I faced in leaving to prepare for a career in ministry. The day I left home was one of the darkest days of my life.  I was so angry.  I cried, screamed and pounded my steering wheel from Colorado to Kansas.  

But that day of despair turned to hope by the providence of God.  One of my first classes was Pastoral Counseling.  Every day, it seemed as if Dr. Larry Fine was talking directly to me about my hurt, anger and unforgiveness toward my dad.  That semester started me on a 26-year journey toward learning to love my father.  That journey reached a milestone in my 30s.  As my dad and I talked on the phone and came near the end, it became quiet.  Silence.  Then I realized my dad was still there, but he was unable to speak.  He was weeping.  Eventually, he gathered himself and whispered, “I love you son.”  Then I heard a click.  It became the first memory of my father telling me he loved me on his own.  It was a powerful moment.

On November 13, 2017, my father suddenly died of pancreatic cancer. When he passed away, I had no regrets. There was nothing but peace in my heart. Years earlier, I had forgiven him and accepted him as he was, not as I wanted him to be. My father did not make it easy. Even so, the Scripture says, "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense" (Proverbs 19:11). By God’s grace, He continually enabled me (though sometimes I failed) to be slow to anger and quick to show love by overlooking his faults.
 

There are too many who are living with anger, unforgiveness or even hate toward their dads.  If that is you, you do not need to live that way anymore.  You have no control over your father.  He will face God for what he has done, but you – you have a choice.  Your anger and unforgiveness is a terrible sin against God and is destroying you.  Stop it!  Lay down your pride and defiance.  Humble yourself and ask God for His divine help to love and forgive.  Break the chains! 

 A prayer for you to pray– “Lord God, I pray for the readers that are angry toward their dad.  The things their father has done has caused great pain and division.  Enable them to forgive, to release their father to you.  To accept and love him just as he is.  Do for them, what they cannot do for themselves.  In Jesus’ name.  Amen.”