Even though I was a pastor’s son and had been in church since I was three, for the first time in my life I was seeking God on my own. – Clint Decker
Even though I was a pastor’s son and had been in church since I was three, for the first time in my life I was seeking God on my own. One morning as I was praying, suddenly it felt like a flash of light that beamed through my soul. Something had happened to me. I sensed instant peace, joy and love like I had never known. Then while at work I started weeping as the presence of God came over me. Soon I started listening to preachers on the radio, bought study books to help me better understand the Bible and began talking with others about Jesus, along with many other changes. (Image by Point of Life Church)
I had become born again.
This idea came from Jesus out of a conversation He had with a man named, Nicodemus. He was a gifted and well-known religious leader in Israel. He heard Jesus teach and became curious, so Nicodemus sought out Jesus saying to Him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with him.” (John 3:2) Jesus responded, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” (Jn. 3:3).
Jesus was aware that Nicodemus, nor His own disciples, had heard Him speak of this before, so like any of us would have done, Nicodemus asked a very logical question, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” (Jn. 3:4)
Jesus explained how He was using the birth of a child as an illustration, “…unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.” (Jn. 3:5-6) Jesus was communicating how there is human birth (flesh) and there is spiritual birth (Spirit), and for someone to enter the kingdom of God, they must go through a spiritual birth.
What does born again mean? First, it is an illustration of life. All of us were born under the curse of sin, which means we were born spiritually dead. Therefore, to enter the kingdom of heaven we need to come alive. We need the supernatural life of Jesus to come dwell within us. Second, being born again, means that since we have been re-born, we also have become a new person. The new life Jesus has created in us has given a new way of thinking and living. Our values, choices and beliefs have all changed. Third, being born again means we have been re-born by the Spirit, not the flesh. Being re-born is something only God can do. Going to church, getting baptized, taking the eucharist, going through catechism – all those are good things, but they are done by you. You cannot be born again through those efforts, but only by the power of God. Jesus addressed this with Nicodemus, “Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” (Jn. 3:7-8)
How can you become born again? Jesus told Nicodemus “…so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life.” (Jn. 3:14-15) Jesus said that He will be lifted up on a cross to die and rise again for all people, and it will be done to provide a way for all who are dead in their sin, to be re-born. And when they turn from their sin and trust in Christ with all their heart, they will be made alive!
A prayer for you – Lord God, I pray for spiritual leaders like Nicodemus and those who regularly attend church. May they humble themselves to examine their hearts if they have been born again, and if they have not, may they call upon you and be changed today. Help them to turn from religion and to Christ. In His name. Amen.
When my father suddenly passed away, I had no regrets. There was nothing but peace in my heart. Years earlier, I had forgiven him and accepted him as he was, not as I wanted him to be. – Clint Decker
My wife and I watched Ragamuffin, a movie about the life of Rich Mullins, a musical prodigy, and the difficult relationship he had with his verbally and emotionally abusive father. We also saw another movie, I Can Only Imagine, about the life of accomplished singer, Bart Millard, and the difficulties he also had with his father, who physically abused him. (Image by alivecounseling.com)
The movies connected with audiences because so many have stories of broken relationships with their fathers. Maybe similar to Rich Mullins and Bart Millard, it was abuse. For others their fathers neglected them while being gone a lot for work or hobbies. And for some, perhaps they grew up without their dad, because for whatever reason, he was gone and they never knew him or just had no relationship.
On the outside, it looked like I came from the perfect family. I grew up in a Christian home where my dad was a pastor, we went to church regularly and my parents never divorced. Yet, inside the walls of our home, it was a different picture.
My father was a complicated man who had strained relationships with nearly every member of our immediate and extended family on different occasions, including me. During a pivotal moment in my life, I excitedly shared that God had called me into the ministry. I anticipated words of encouragement. Instead he commented, “You’re going to need to go to college, and you weren’t a very good student. I don’t know how you’re going to make it.” From that moment until I left for college my dad was the greatest challenge I faced in my call to the ministry. The day I left home was one of the darkest days of my life. While driving away from my home in Fort Collins, Colorado, to begin my ministry studies, I screamed and pounded my steering wheel in a fit of rage.
However, that dark day turned to hope by the providence of God. Little did I know what God had in store when I arrived at MidAmerica Nazarene University in Olathe, Kansas. One of my classes was Pastoral Counseling. Every day it seemed like Dr. Larry Fine was talking directly to me about the anger towards my father. That started me on a 26-year journey of learning to love my dad. That journey reached a milestone in my 30s when my dad and I were talking on the phone and came near the end of the conversation. It became quiet. Silence. My dad was still there. He had not hung up but was unable to speak. He was weeping. Eventually, he gathered himself and whispered, “I love you son.” Then I heard a click. It became the first memory of my father telling me he loved me. It was a powerful moment I will never forget.
On November 13, 2017, my father suddenly died of pancreatic cancer. When he passed away, I had no regrets. There was nothing but peace in my heart. Years earlier, I had forgiven him and accepted him as he was, not as I wanted him to be.
The Scripture says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:2) At one point in life my disobedience angered God and I deserved His judgement. Yet, He led me to turn from my sin and place my faith in Christ. He truly showed me mercy and undeserved forgiveness.
Consequently, as God showed mercy to me, I learned that I needed to demonstrate that same mercy to my father. God showed me that by His enabling power, I could forgive and show my father the same kindness God showed me in Christ.
There are too many who are living with unforgiveness toward their dads. If that is you, you do not need to live that way anymore. Humble yourself and ask God for His divine help to love and forgive.
A prayer for you – Lord God, I pray for those who are angry toward their fathers. Enable them to forgive and release their fathers to you. To accept and love him just as he is. Do for them, what they cannot do for themselves. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
